THE BRO REPORT

AND I GOT THE PUNCHING GAME RECORD

2008-07-31T01:25:00.003-04:00

I have a serious situation going on in my life that I can't keep a secret anymore... I am slowly killing myself. Seriously, I am. There comes a time in a mans life where he feels the need to make his mark. This summer I have found my mark. ITS THE FUCKING GUINNESS CHALLENGE!!! This shit is no joke. 100 Guinness and you get your name on a plaque. Yeah I know 100 Guinness is not really that much when you think about it. OK, it actually is but there is no time limit to drink them all. You can take 3 years, 3 months, or in my case 3 fucking weeks. Yeah you heard right, that's like 5 Guinness a day. All I'm saying is that my name is about to be on the wall yall. If you wanna come see history, come check us Saturday. If you don't know the spot then obviously we don't really know you.

FOR REAL ONLY A DOLLAR

2008-07-17T12:46:00.002-04:00

If You See Me Walking Down The Street, Just Walk On By.

2008-06-15T09:40:00.000-04:00

EYY ESS AAAA

2008-05-27T16:26:00.001-04:00

PROS VS. NERDS

2008-05-22T18:28:00.004-04:00

Country House News

2008-05-11T12:38:00.001-04:00

PAUL'S BEARD ACTUALLY GROWS LIKE THIS TOO

2008-05-09T00:44:00.001-04:00

From our friends over at People Food:

The Demon Beard of Fleet Street - Watch more free videos

SOMETHING FOR THE LADIES [NOT REALLY]

2008-05-04T22:53:00.007-04:00

The Bro Report proudly salute's its first (soon to be many) entry into Urban Dictionary.com

DOLAX

n. (doe-lax) The part of the human body located just above the shoulders and neck area.

Seeing anything that would equate to blowing your mind. No Homo.

Yo, when I heard about that, the back of my dolax exploded in like two directions bee!

Here are few jams from back in the day that might just cause your Dolax to leak.

Boss-

yoyo-

MC Lyte

Banal Bar

2008-05-03T11:59:00.003-04:00

So Thursday night ... me and danny decided to leave the apartment building we both live in to head out for some beers. Cause sometimes you just need a break from the mom being wildly abusive to her child, the rabid dog that lives upstairs, and the dude next door who makes horrendous music.

So we went to the local bar to pod ...but it was just weird and lame in there so we bounced. Dudes in there were stoaked on hockey and over charging. So we left to go check some new spot ... that turned out to be extra yuppied out.

So we ended up at some extra park slope bar... which kinda blew chunks. I noticed in the background, as I watched people play connect four and just generally lull each other to sleep, that the record playing was Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. Which made me realize that Yankee Hotel Foxtrot is a record made for boring people. Now don't get me wrong I actually really liked that record...but if it is being played you are basically in a boring place with boring people (otherwise known as park slope)

I promise you if you know a realing boring person, they have this record. Not only do they have it, it is prominently displaced, cause they think it speaks to some deepness about them. Like "me and Jeff Tweedy have been through a lot but luckily we found this authentic country music to help us make it through."

P.S. the guy's name is Jeff Tweedy ...unacceptable.

Appros of absolutely nothing this video for damaged goods is kinda hundred dollar biller ... fuck, Jon King puts it down on the dance floor

That being said, i like this song a lot:

Signed,
Squat or Rot, Bitch

A LATE VALENTINE BY A 10 YEAR OLD DELORENZO

2008-04-30T10:59:00.002-04:00

DART NERD TUESDAYS

2008-04-24T00:37:00.010-04:00

So Dart Nerd Tuesdays is now officially part of The Bro Report's weekly schedule. Darts, Arrows, Flights, Matches or whatever else you may want to call them - were flying. The smell of a decomposing body hidden somewhere in the bar did not deter us - although Ryder's butt gas almost burned me a third nostril. Pints were pounded, Jamesons poured, darts split (seriously peep the photo), Bucks hunted, and buffalo wings consumed.

Eventually the night digressed into the usual game of -throw a dart as hard as you can into the wall - but no one was injured. Although I guarantee someone will lose an eye before the end of May. See you nerds next Tuesday.

The 11 Most Unintentionally Gay Rap Lyrics Ever

2008-04-23T12:56:00.003-04:00

From Cracked dot com:

The Lyric:
"Plus I'm gettin' brain from this chick like whoa! Finger near a nigga asshole like whoa!"

What He's Probably Saying:

"So this chick was blowing me right, next thing I know she starts putting her finger near my ass and I'm all like WHOA!!"

What We Like To Think He's Saying:

"So I'm in this room with a guy and his girlfriend, right? One thing leads to another, next thing I know, the chick is blowing me, I'm about to put my finger in dude's ass, and I'm like ... whoa! This is awesome!"

http://www.cracked.com/article_16158_11-most-unintentionally-gay-rap-lyrics-ever.html

HISPANIC NINJA AUDITION

2008-04-18T14:33:00.002-04:00

Here is a video from our dudes over at People Food.

Enjoy:

what a fool

2008-04-17T23:19:00.001-04:00

THIS FOOL BELIEVES THAT THIS NERD IS A GENIUS

2008-04-16T11:03:00.005-04:00

So this Web Site will give you Billboards top hits on any day/month/year. No wonder my man who put the site together picked a .BIZ web address - this dude is the business. Look at him and Lionel hanging out in that stairwell/freight elevator like best buds. If anything, this site proves that having children in the new millennium is a precarious choice at best - cause your kids will probably have an Akon or 50 Cent song as their birthday tune.... At least us late 70's or early 80's Babies had a fair chance. Here is my birthday jam: Doobie Brothers - What a fool believes...............

Everyone Needs A Laugh Sometimes

2008-04-13T23:19:00.000-04:00

Special Young Adults?

2008-04-09T19:53:00.000-04:00

Hey Guys!

2008-04-02T22:26:00.000-04:00

DEPRESSION MAKES ME STARVING

2008-03-28T14:54:00.006-04:00

SPOILER ALERT. If you don't want to know how the novel - A Farewell To Arms, ends - then read no further. I was going through my bookshelf the other day and this page fell from one of the shelves. That's my handwriting on the bottom left. I guess i figured the best place for a grocery list was on the last page of one of the most sickly depressing novels ever. Weird. Anyway, get the Barbecue fired up - it's almost spring time...and I am really depressed...I mean hungry.

HELICOPTERS WERE THE SHIT

2008-03-26T15:54:00.003-04:00

Why is Jan-Michael Vincent aka "Stringfellow Hawke," playing the cello on a boat?

Danny On Board In Pawling

2008-03-25T18:46:00.000-04:00

circa 2004...

2008-03-14T19:29:00.001-04:00

BEST 80's DANCE SCENE EVER?

2008-03-13T14:22:00.006-04:00

Going to public school in New York City has its ups and downs. Well, mostly downs. But a [sad] highlight for me was that it forever ingrained in my memory the movie RAD. On any given day in middle school, if it was raining or if people in the neighboring projects were throwing eggs and or bottles out their windows into the school yard or if the Decepticons were rumored to be coming to beat and rob us - Recess would be canceled and we would pack into the auditorium and watch classic 80's cinema. High school dirt bike dance off? Does it get any better?

BOBBY BROWN CAN DUNK

2008-03-12T15:40:00.000-04:00

THESE DUDES ARE SERIOUS WITH THEIR NERD

2008-03-05T17:29:00.001-05:00