Columbus....a Jew?

A recent NY Times article detailed attempts by scientists to use DNA evidence to reveal the true origins of the World's most famous hero/villain, Christopher Columbus. Hundreds of people from Italy, Spain, France, and even North Africa helped the study by providing DNA samples. The most startling part of the article you ask...... COLUMBUS COULD BE A JEW!!! Yeah, that's right, the greatest explorer of the Western world apparantly got picked on his entire life, rocked a NY Met's Jersey, went to summer camp in the Catskills, and definitely had a cousin in Great Neck, Long Island. Of course, this revelation has terrible consequences: Jews can pretty much be blamed for everything now. Controlling Hollywood, Wall Street, the Press, etc, etc, is kinda a bad rap and all..but responisble for the annihilation of MILLIONS of Native American's??? Shit, you guys can't catch a break. I felt kinda bad about this whole scenario until my lunch break where I heard two chosen people (jews) talking in the falafal-man line. The conversation went exactly like this:

"Maaan, Schlesser was waaaaasted last night."

"Yeah, Freidman told me this morning. That dude, can drink man."

Hey Columbus, thanks for eradicating an entire civilization and replacing it with Mets fans who can only refer to their friends by their nerdy jew-faced last names. Fuck you Columbus, fuck you too Schlesser. I don't think Schlesser can drink, I think Schlesser might be the biggest loser you'll ever meet. I DO know that Schlesser probably date-raped girls in college and has a David Wright poster in his Murray Hill Apt. I also know he wears Diesel jeans with black dress shoes an and untucked button-down. I also know he's responisble for the deaths of MILLIONS of Indians as is his douchebag friend Friedman. Basically, as a half Jew, i'd like to thank my father for infecting me with this wildly genocidal gene called Judiasm. Thanks dad, thanks Columbus.