THE SCARIEST/GREATEST PLACE ON EARTH

I recently returned from a White Water rafting adventure in western Pennsylvania/ West Virginia [Lets just say I have no doubt that "the Klan" is alive and well] with a bunch of dudes from college; several of whom have returned from serving in the armed forces. Most unfortunate event: Realizing that a dude who is in the Green Berets handles his alcohol like a 14 year old girl. Best shitty Pennsylvania towns passed on route: Shartsville and Krumstown. Greatest moment? Stumbling upon a 300,000 square foot CABELAS STORE on the way home. I don't know if you can wrap your minds around 300,000 square feet of camo, guns, knives and fishing tackle, but believe me that shit is HUGE.

Here's Davey Boy at the entrance....Dave got an instant boner when he saw all the fishing rods available. Then he proceeded to soil himself after discovering the in-store, gigantic 40,000 gallon aquarium full of every major North American fresh water game fish.


The view from the main entrance. There was a huge mountain built into the middle of the store that was "decorated" with stuffed Bears, Goats, Elk and anything else that has four legs and can be shot dead.

Another view of the faux mountain.


Here's a view from the second floor balcony where the restaraunt and home furnishings sections were located....and when I say home furnishings I mean....


...a glass table with a dogs head emerging from the center with a dead duck in its mouth....classic.

Even though the diet of most Bears consists of berries and fish, in the world of Cabela's all animals are vicious killers that should be shot and eaten. Hence the scene below: these ferocious blood thirsty bears have just killed a giant moose and are about to engage in a violent battle to the death over who will eat it.


Speaking of death: ..peep the Camoflage-sike-i-aint-dead-sucka-coffin-bag. BANG!!!
You thought I was just playing when I talked about the "Bargain Cave" in my last post didn't you. Told you fools. I copped a sweet set of shotgun shell christmas lights for only 5 bills in the bargain cave.
And just when you are absolutely spent from all the little kids running around shooting off cap guns in the store [dead serious], dudes walking around double-fisting double-barrell shotguns, and the constant quacking from the duck-call section, there is no better way to replenish yourself than hitting up the in-store restaraunt for some Wild Boar and Smoked Elk sandwiches [they had a vegetarian section also, but when you approached the counter a trap door opened up and sent you directly into a garbage bin in the parking lot].
Wow. All I can say was that it was an experience that will last a lifetime. Plus I found out they're opening up a store in North Jersey....I smell field trip [Rob- you may have to pack your own lunch].