YO BRO ARE U KIDDING ME?!?

I know all Bros, save for this dude right here, work out on at least a semi regular basis, and I wanna ask you a question … ARE YOU DUDES FUCKIN NUTS??? I went for a jog Friday and that shit was a weird form of torture. That joint officially duffed me out, son. So I start out and I’m going, and shit's all good: I’m rocking the headphones, got the crisp new running shoes on, thinking “yo son look at me I’m so healthy bee." Then block ten happened. I started to feel like someone was straight choking me out. Busted out another 5 blocks and stopped into a walk. By then my head was straight throbbing, and my brain was just saying, “kill me” on repeat. My face was so flush and hot I felt like somebody have given me the sick buck 50. My chest felt like Bruce Lee just gave me the sickest one-inch punch ever, and Tyson had just straight up “gone to work” on my ribs (no homo). So my ribs hurt more than my chest cause we all know Tyson would kill Bruce Lee in the one d. Honestly if I had stopped I would have straight hurled. So basically I was walking death, and while this is all going down some fat Asian women jogs by with her ipod ... all "la-di-da", like that shit was just a day in the park (oh wait I guess it was). Like jogging was a game, this aint a game you worthless piece of shit. And I’m thinking “I’m gonna effiing kill ya you fat fucking cow … if only I could catch up to you … which I clearly could not. There were definitely no endorphins involved. But as I dragged my sorry ass back to the crib, I saw some killer graffiti. For no reason at all, on some dude's garage door it said in sloppy marker, “lick my damn butt whole” (and yes they spelled it that way). That joint kinda gave me a chuckle. Then there were two 19 year old kids in front me and one kid gets off his cell and is made amped, and gives his man the pound and says “yo son I’m crack money like a bad honey,” and I just thought “man I’m NOT crack money like a bad honey" at all at this moment.