TBR MONTHLY MAULING REPORT

A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal's enclosure, a zoo official said on Monday. "The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions," the official said. "A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery." The Lioness was also reportedly overheard before the attack saying to her companion, "Holy shit. If God exists he will let me maul this dumb fuck."