LIFE ON THE BROad [like road ya jerks]

The following report was filed by our Bro on the road contributer Ryder.
Can you remember the last time you made a White Russian? The last time I had one was at the BlackHawk casino in Colorado years and years ago. Right now I'm in the armpit of the southern most state of this Country. Right in Orlando. And the house I'm staying at has a
goddamn projection screen television right in front of their enclosed swimming pool. Pretty fucking sweet. It's a nice break from this schedule of hell I've been keeping. Playing Warped Tour is like taking everything you never liked about playing music and throwing it at your face all at once. Your surrounded by bands that sound like garbage that are being swarmed and sweated by thousands of fat, grubby, no-neck white kids from the 'burbs and all they want from you (you being the guy in the band that actually sounds different than all the other shit) is some free crap. When I look out at my audience (or lack thereof) everyday in a new city, in a new state I can only weap for the future. When this tour began ten odd years ago the avergae kid coming along was around 17 and up ya' know. It was all the punk kids that dug Fugazi or Op Ivy... Now the average kiddo is about 12 on this tour. And I feel disgusting playing music to people that will have no idea what my band is tryin' to get across. Not like we're philosiphizing onstage about Confucious or anything, but for god's sake we sure as fuck aren't singing about the prom. At any rate, somwhere I was talking about drinking, and right now it's the best thing I fucking got on this trek. Cheers.
-pantherATTACK