YOU'RE PLAYING YOURSELF

1) Stop telling me you can’t compare shit because it’s “like comparing apples and oranges.” Guess what retard, you can compare anything. Apples are gross and oranges are straight delicious…be a man and tell me who you REALLY think would win in a fight between King Kong and Godzilla. (the correct answer is King Kong…he’ll punish that jerkoff lizard)

2) Stop calling me into your office to tell me that I have to shave. Fuck you and your WASPY facial hair. Does it look like I’m from a Scandinavian country and can shave with a wet butter knife??? You really want me to shave EVERYDAY? Well, you better be prepared to see me bleeding profusely all over your fuckin office. Oh, they sell razors for sensitive skin???? I don’t care if they’re selling the Mach 40, that shit won’t do anything to my nappy, course as steel wool, facial hair.

3) Hey Arab deli owner on 123rd, why do you charge me a different price everytime you see me. Matter of fact, why do you look at my hand to see what I’m holding before you give me the price? Does it look like we’re playing poker? Then why the fuck are you trying to read my hand!!!! Let me save you the suspense….i’m holding a lot less money than you think, so stop charging me 4 bills for a Snapple and a bag of Munchos. Just because I’m rocking a suit doesn’t give you the right to judge me…..terrorist.