JEWISH SLUTS OR MUSLIM FRIENDS?

The following Bro Report was filed by Op-Ed Contributor C Mike:

Yesterday I stumbled out into the hall to hear my neighbor arguing with his girlfriend:

DUDE: ....I don't know what you're talking about.
FEMALE: I am going to say this one more time, calmly, before I leave your apartment. Why are you on J-Date!

It got me thinking about how J-Date is a veritable jewish orgy, and how lucky jews are to have such slutty, slutty sluts who sign up for this thing because they just want to bang a doctor or whatever. Until, I hear this:

FEMALE: You're not even jewish.
Hold up. I'm sorry, what? Gentiles are infiltrating the J-Date? When did goyim start pretending to be jews? What do they have to hate about themselves? I thought we had the monopoly on self-loathesomeness? Is nothing sacred anymore?

Note from the Editor: What if you don't like jewish sluts? Maybe a more conservative shrouded women is more to your liking? Well to ensure you, the reader of The Bro Reports multicultural sensibilities the editorial staff recommends you check out: Muslim Friends. Or maybe you want to skip the entire courtship process altogether and get hitched: HERE.