The other day I took some time to enjoy the spring weather and get some sun on my beak. I was kickin' it on this rock in central park reading the paper and people watching. There happened to be this young couple sitting next to me and I found myself listening to their conversation cause ima creep like that. They were sitting smoking cigarettes blah blah blah...Then the chick gets the genius idea to take a match and [over her boyfriends protest ] light a paper bag on fire. I guess she was a complete retard because she seemed genuinely surprised when this bag actually started to burn...After a bit of hesitation she got the even better idea of blowing on the burning bag to put it out....Well this obviously causes the bag to become more engulfed in flames...The boyfriend is annoyed and says something like "what the fuck? My hot dogs in that bag!" so now he starts blowing on the bag b/c apparently he's retarded as well. Finally he stands up and frantically begins stomping on the paper bag to put out the fire and destroys his lunch in the process. The dude was definitely pissed, and was giving his girl the "I told you so stupid" - look. Two seconds later the dude starts weirdly yelping and out of nowhere his entire pant leg shoots up in flames! He hops around for a second then takes his pants off [revealing a pair of super dorky cartoon boxers], starts stomping on them, and finally pours out his vitamin water all over the smoldering pants. At this point I'm hysterically laughing. The guy is standing in his underwear shaking his head and is straight furious at his girl. She looks at him like "what the eff just happened" and offers the faintest hint of a smile and my man just loses his shit. "Don't you fuckin' laugh. Don't even smile. This IS NOT Funny, I could have been seriously hurt. First you lit the bag on fire, then I smashed my hot dog and then my pants caught on fire and now my leg is burned- so don't fucking laugh." Oh man it was amazing. You never know what's gonna happen when you try to tan your beak.
The other day I took some time to enjoy the spring weather and get some sun on my beak. I was kickin' it on this rock in central park reading the paper and people watching. There happened to be this young couple sitting next to me and I found myself listening to their conversation cause ima creep like that. They were sitting smoking cigarettes blah blah blah...Then the chick gets the genius idea to take a match and [over her boyfriends protest ] light a paper bag on fire. I guess she was a complete retard because she seemed genuinely surprised when this bag actually started to burn...After a bit of hesitation she got the even better idea of blowing on the burning bag to put it out....Well this obviously causes the bag to become more engulfed in flames...The boyfriend is annoyed and says something like "what the fuck? My hot dogs in that bag!" so now he starts blowing on the bag b/c apparently he's retarded as well. Finally he stands up and frantically begins stomping on the paper bag to put out the fire and destroys his lunch in the process. The dude was definitely pissed, and was giving his girl the "I told you so stupid" - look. Two seconds later the dude starts weirdly yelping and out of nowhere his entire pant leg shoots up in flames! He hops around for a second then takes his pants off [revealing a pair of super dorky cartoon boxers], starts stomping on them, and finally pours out his vitamin water all over the smoldering pants. At this point I'm hysterically laughing. The guy is standing in his underwear shaking his head and is straight furious at his girl. She looks at him like "what the eff just happened" and offers the faintest hint of a smile and my man just loses his shit. "Don't you fuckin' laugh. Don't even smile. This IS NOT Funny, I could have been seriously hurt. First you lit the bag on fire, then I smashed my hot dog and then my pants caught on fire and now my leg is burned- so don't fucking laugh." Oh man it was amazing. You never know what's gonna happen when you try to tan your beak.
5 Comments:
This would have never happened at the old tanning facility.
I agree...but it's a new season of varsity tanning and Bro's need to get their pre-season on somewhere...
get your beak on
getget your beak on
It's true. A lack of public resources devoted to tanning facilities is no excuse for showing up on opening day all milked out. www.bronzebeak.com
If you, Josh and Paully just came and visited my ass in Hawaii already you wouldn't be laying on a rock surrounded by morons. Instead, y'all would be lampin' on the white sandy beaches of Hawaii, tanning your beaks, and be surrounded by gorgeous, tanned, and toned bodies. But thats ok, your experience sounded MUCH better than that.....
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