NINO BROWN IS REAL BLACK

Sorry bro, I don’t fuck with that weed anymore. You will not catch kids named PaullyP smoking trees these days. I mean, I wasn’t KILLING those crondoules back in the day like other bros we know, but kids definitely took many a blunt to the face. Anyway, my aversion to weed all stems from one summer night about five years ago. Yeah, kids were about 20 years old back then, trying to finesse themselves into parties they didn’t belong…shit was kinda sweet. So this one night my boy and I decide to bless some party with our presence, but before we go, we come up with the genius idea of smoking that giganto blunt to the face. Needless to say kids are real traumatized, and straight stagger into a party where the first person I see is Wesley Snipes looking like a pair of floating teeth sippin Crown Royal on the rocks. Somehow I manage to bump into a few other people I know and I’m kickin it pretty hard. Of course, ten minutes later that weed hits my head like a bat to the dome and my lips straight disappear into my mouth searching for some water. I was parched as a motherfucker, eyes blood red, and just swerving, trying to figure out how my man Wesley Snipes could even see his hands. Traumed off my ass, I notice that some girl standing right next to me is straight GRILLING me. It takes me about twenty minutes to realize that this little girl rubbing shoulders with me is none other than the unnaturally perfect Natalie Portman (who happens to be best friends with a girl i went to college with). What happens next? Well…..i’m a smooth type of dude, so I turn to her and just give her that super scary ICE GRILL…a look that, as I’ve been told, looked like the combination of me smiling, crying and sleeping all at the same time. After about 2 minutes of grill time, she looks back up at me, rolls her eyes and quickly exits the area. Did I stop staring?…NO…Did I think I still had a chance? YEAH….I was like, “hey, HEEEEYYY….I KNOOOW YOOOUUU…YO, No?, Yeah..word…”. Meanwhile about 5 people are laughing there ass off right behind me as I unroll my lips from the back of my mouth and take a sip of whatever type of drank I was holding. Basically, don’t come at me with that I can’t believe you don’t smoke weed shit. WORD, you got that dope weed?? Oh, your man got that sick hookup with so and so??? Do I want to smoke that weed with you???? FUCK YOU BRO! I think Natalie is chilling in the LUWS tonight and I gots to keep my head straight.