Have you ever read Dante’s Inferno, no? Well, if you’ve ever wondered what one of those levels of Hell looked like, I can suggest a spot. Hell on earth you ask? Yeah, if you’ve got the heart, peep that spot on 53rd and Ninth Avenue which is undoubtedly one of the many levels of hell so vividly described by my man Dante 600 years ago…the Italian to English translation has changed remarkably in those 600 years, but linguists have determined that Dante was in fact writing about BLIMPIES….that’s right, that shit is undisputable, he was talking about BLIMPIES on 53rd and 9th. Hungry for some stale bread and flat soda? Don’t know whether it’s your sandwich or the frumpy Jewish dude next to you that smells like ass cheeks? Is that the franchise manager rocking a brown corduroy jacket and tuxedo pants asking you if you’re “enjoying your breakfast,” even though its 3:30 in the afternoon? Is ABBA’s Dancing Queen blasting through a staticky speaker, and about to be followed by that Mambo #5 song? Is Rod Stewart’s Forever Young making you cry while you watch a Vietnam Vet shove an overstuffed Tuna sandwich into his face-piece? Are you laughing and crying when you realize that the manager makes A LOT more money than you, but you’re still happy for him because he looks like a swell guy? Are we actually looking forward to that Fleetwood Mac song that you know is coming on next?? Hmmmmm, if it looks like a Blimpies, smells like a Blimpies and is as uncomfortably nauseating as a Blimpies….you’re definitely in HELL.
Have you ever read Dante’s Inferno, no? Well, if you’ve ever wondered what one of those levels of Hell looked like, I can suggest a spot. Hell on earth you ask? Yeah, if you’ve got the heart, peep that spot on 53rd and Ninth Avenue which is undoubtedly one of the many levels of hell so vividly described by my man Dante 600 years ago…the Italian to English translation has changed remarkably in those 600 years, but linguists have determined that Dante was in fact writing about BLIMPIES….that’s right, that shit is undisputable, he was talking about BLIMPIES on 53rd and 9th. Hungry for some stale bread and flat soda? Don’t know whether it’s your sandwich or the frumpy Jewish dude next to you that smells like ass cheeks? Is that the franchise manager rocking a brown corduroy jacket and tuxedo pants asking you if you’re “enjoying your breakfast,” even though its 3:30 in the afternoon? Is ABBA’s Dancing Queen blasting through a staticky speaker, and about to be followed by that Mambo #5 song? Is Rod Stewart’s Forever Young making you cry while you watch a Vietnam Vet shove an overstuffed Tuna sandwich into his face-piece? Are you laughing and crying when you realize that the manager makes A LOT more money than you, but you’re still happy for him because he looks like a swell guy? Are we actually looking forward to that Fleetwood Mac song that you know is coming on next?? Hmmmmm, if it looks like a Blimpies, smells like a Blimpies and is as uncomfortably nauseating as a Blimpies….you’re definitely in HELL.
3 Comments:
i been to that joint ... its basically a homless shelter
gotta wonder who awarded them the superlative of "best dressed sandwich"...
That joint is a birthday party compared to the bar on ave B
Post a Comment
<< Home