FUCK YOU LOOKIN' AT

Yo. No homophobe. But why do you keep looking at me? Like everytime I look up in this Sports Club lockeroom, you're trying to make eye contact.
Am I in front of your locker? or did I snake you in line for the treadmill? Maybe you think you know me? Did we go to grade school together? Do I just not recognize you because you didn't used to shoot steriods and shave your body?
You know what, fuck it, 'cause you are seriously eyeing me like I'm Brooke Shields in ’82.
And another thing, what was all that scuffling about when I opened the door to the steam room the other day?
Can't a brother get a sweat on in peace? Do my nostrils not deserve a refreshing influx of mentholated steam just because I'm straight?
When did I miss the e-mail where it was announced that any grown man seen exercising will be assumed to be gay?
All Im trying to do is get myself back into some kind of respectable condition here and the next thing you know I've got to decide which is worse. Giving you a full monty to think about later, or turning my back you so you're glare can burn a hole in my ass cheeks.