YA LUWS, CUZ I GOT THE ILL STREET BLUES [prn. LOSE]

Ya’ll don’t know shit about our hood!! What ya know about the Lower Upper West Side [LUWS]? What ya know about middle-aged aging hippies who smell like bologna? What ya know about teenagers still rockin’ Northfaces and taking Cron-doules to the dome? What ya know about heroned out homeless dudes on every other block? What ya know about crackheads doing the harlem shake? What ya know about those Mexicans on 101st who will slice you? What ya know about those crill slingin’ dudes and busted-ass hookers up in Broadway Bagels? What ya know about frumpy Jewish women in ankle length down jackets? What ya know about those Columbia students shook to death off the LUWS? What ya know about my man Kurious lookin’ real fat chilling at Mickey doodles on 96th street? What you know about rocksteady park? What you know about whites dudes aged 11-15 getting straight chased when they cross “that side” of Broadway. What ya know about getting run up on with Gats, hammers and knives in Riverside Park? The LUWS, located between 110th and 96th is the no-mans land of Manhattan. This bologna smelling neighborhood is marked by beautiful pre-war buildings, SRO’s full of recently released Belevue patients, projects and brownstones. That’s right, this neighborhood represents exactly what happens when liberals run rampant and straight forget the fact that poor people/mental patients don’t give a fuck who you voted for, they’ll jack you for your smoked salmon just for livin’. All we’re saying is that if you move back here, the first thing you’ll LUWS is your pride.....or maybe your wallet.