YOU LOOK LIKE ROD STEWART TO ME

You will no longer catch me in Williamsburg, Greenpoint, Redhook, LES or wherever else “hipster” parties go down. Why you ask? Well, lets just say that everything is real sweet at first: girls are looking kinda crisp, music kinda crisp, dranks are tasting real crisp…but then it happens…after they drink three or four Pabsts, peep how every girl’s hipster hairdo starts getting a little disheveled.......
And then……KAZAAM!!!!!!…

ALL YOU BITCHES LOOK LIKE ROD STEWART!! That’s right, you’re damn near identical to that queer. No! I don’t want to dance with you Rod. You think I’m a bad kisser? Well, maybe that’s because I think I’m kissing Rod Stewart right now, and its making me nauseous. Dance as sexy as you want girl, you still look like Rod Stewart when you're twisted.