Sometimes I Lie Slow, Sometimes I Lie Quick

Hey ladies, there's a good chance that if we've spoken I've probably
lied to you. Right to your face. For no real reason. Straight up…I
will lie to you. Unfortunately, my latest lie has put me in the not
so strange position of being caught in a lie. Unless I miraculously
age three years, get two huge tattoos, and move out of my mom's house
in the next couple of days, I have a terrible feeling that a certain
girl might lose a little respect for me. She might actually think
it's pathetic to make things up like that. But in reality…it's all
her fault for asking me questions like, How old are you? Where do you
live? What's your name? Come on lady, don't be asking me questions
like you know me!!!! You think you know me!!?? Well, do you know that
I'm straight up lying to your face right now?? I didn't think so.
Holler.