I'll HAVE A GINGER ALE FUCKFACE

I’m sure everyone is real tired of hearing me complain, and when I say everyone, I mean the 10 people who actually read this blog, but I have to point something out that my man Joey McJoeJoe brought up a couple nights ago: Bartenders are real fucking annoying. I used to think bouncers and that whole crew of retards were the worst, but it’s definitely the new breed of smug, self-righteous bartenders that have assumed the throne of douchebaggery. Guess what bartenders? Your sole purpose is to get me whatever the fuck I want, when I want it. You're my slave for exactly 30 seconds while I’m ordering a drink, so give me my drink with a goddamn smile. I’m not ordering some off the wall mai-tai malibu breezer, I’m just asking for a scotch on the rocks (shout out Peesky). This isn’t Coyote Ugly, I don’t want to hear what you have to say. You’re not important enough to role your eyes at me because you don’t like my choice of drink. Don’t give me that “NY” attitude, you weren’t born and raised here, you’re from some shit town with a population of exactly zero black people. You don’t like the fact that I want a Corona instead of an awful PBR? Fuck You. You forgot my drink order and get mad when I point that out? YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE. The bottom line is, you serve one purpose…getting me and my boy Joey McJoeJoe twisted.

P.S. Want to give a quick shout out to Bobby Taliban for three years ago ordering a ginger ale in one of those Coyote Ugly type bars just so we would get kicked out.