Finally Every Dimension of the Streets

So i was waiting for the uptown 1 train today and to occupy my time i positioned myself in front of the station newsstand so i can catch up on the news [ aka pretending not to read US Weekly and People]. As i leered at Jessica Simpson a young twenty-something lady walked up next to me and scanned the available magazines. She was your average upper west side-frumpy-frizzy haired (**cough***jewish**cough**) chic. You could barely see her face underneath her hair and glasses. She was wearing a green sweater and light blue jeans that were awkwardly one size to big, yet too short to cover her new balance sneakers. I guess you are wondering why i noticed this girl. Well, once she finished browsing around the newsstand she politely asked "I'll have the newest issue of F.E.D.S please." What the fuck? FEDS? I have never see anyone reading that magazine, and the picture in my head of the prospective buyer would be some dude on the bus coming back from Rikers. I couldn't help but stare at her and try to figure out how this frumpy white chick has any interest in stories about R. Kelly's manager, Cocaine dealers in Queensbridge or Dog fighting???? I was considering going up to her and just asking, "Sooooo....FEDS, huh?," but i was too scared of her possibly shanking me in the neck. I'm just saying- it was weird.