Bro, Sorry to Inform You

Unfortunately, I have to inform all of you of a simple truth: women aren’t funny…At all…Even your girlfriend. They’re funny to laugh at, and they do funny things, but all in all, 90% of women are just not funny. I was informed of this universal truth during my junior year of college when I was laughing hysterically at some girl, which prompted my friend to come up to me as serious as can be and say, “my man, what’s your problem?” He explained to me that there was no possible way that girl was that funny. Which was true. Whether you know it or not, you’re only laughing at a women’s jokes if you’re trying to get laid. Another weird thing about this theory, is that when you try to explain it to a girl they immediately try to convince you they are funny by sleeping with you: which oddly enough is kinda funny. And they will always say, “Well, you’re not funny!” Which you reply, “I wasn’t saying I was funny, I’m just saying that you’re not funny.” Women can’t seem to wrap their brains around that one. Of course, this whole theory doesn’t apply to a girl named Melissa, who responded to my theory by saying, “I don’t know what you’re talking about nigga, I’m fucking hilarious,” Which she is.