Providing an important community dialogue in the Arts, Politics, Sports, Mental Health, Dieting/Weight Loss, Real Estate, Home and Garden, Ranting and/or Raving and more specifically, All Things Bro.
This asshole is from Delaware, hangs with my boys constantly and got them all into massive gambling debts....Quality. Make me wish I still lived in the first.
I have a serious situation going on in my life that I can't keep a secret anymore... I am slowly killing myself. Seriously, I am. There comes a time in a mans life where he feels the need to make his mark. This summer I have found my mark. ITS THE FUCKING GUINNESS CHALLENGE!!! This shit is no joke. 100 Guinness and you get your name on a plaque. Yeah I know 100 Guinness is not really that much when you think about it. OK, it actually is but there is no time limit to drink them all. You can take 3 years, 3 months, or in my case 3 fucking weeks. Yeah you heard right, that's like 5 Guinness a day. All I'm saying is that my name is about to be on the wall yall. If you wanna come see history, come check us Saturday. If you don't know the spot then obviously we don't really know you.
So Thursday night ... me and danny decided to leave the apartment building we both live in to head out for some beers. Cause sometimes you just need a break from the mom being wildly abusive to her child, the rabid dog that lives upstairs, and the dude next door who makes horrendous music.
So we went to the local bar to pod ...but it was just weird and lame in there so we bounced. Dudes in there were stoaked on hockey and over charging. So we left to go check some new spot ... that turned out to be extra yuppied out.
So we ended up at some extra park slope bar... which kinda blewchunks. I noticed in the background, as I watched people play connect four and just generally lull each other to sleep, that the record playing was Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. Which made me realize that Yankee Hotel Foxtrot is a record made for boring people. Now don't get me wrong I actually really liked that record...but if it is being played you are basically in a boring place with boring people (otherwise known as park slope)
I promise you if you know a realing boring person, they have this record. Not only do they have it, it is prominently displaced, cause they think it speaks to some deepness about them. Like "me and Jeff Tweedy have been through a lot but luckily we found this authentic country music to help us make it through."
P.S. the guy's name is Jeff Tweedy ...unacceptable.
Appros of absolutely nothing this video for damaged goods is kinda hundred dollar biller ... fuck, Jon King puts it down on the dance floor
So Dart Nerd Tuesdays is now officially part of The Bro Report's weekly schedule. Darts, Arrows, Flights, Matches or whatever else you may want to call them - were flying. The smell of a decomposing body hidden somewhere in the bar did not deter us - although Ryder's butt gas almost burned me a third nostril. Pints were pounded, Jamesons poured, darts split (seriously peep the photo), Bucks hunted, and buffalo wings consumed.
Eventually the night digressed into the usual game of -throw a dart as hard as you can into the wall - but no one was injured. Although I guarantee someone will lose an eye before the end of May. See you nerds next Tuesday.
The Lyric: "Plus I'm gettin' brain from this chick like whoa! Finger near a nigga asshole like whoa!"
What He's Probably Saying:
"So this chick was blowing me right, next thing I know she starts putting her finger near my ass and I'm all like WHOA!!"
What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"So I'm in this room with a guy and his girlfriend, right? One thing leads to another, next thing I know, the chick is blowing me, I'm about to put my finger in dude's ass, and I'm like ... whoa! This is awesome!"
So this Web Sitewill give you Billboards top hits on any day/month/year. No wonder my man who put the site together picked a .BIZ web address - this dude is the business. Look at him and Lionel hanging out in that stairwell/freight elevator like best buds. If anything, this site proves that having children in the new millennium is a precarious choice at best - cause your kids will probably have an Akon or 50 Cent song as their birthday tune.... At least us late 70's or early 80's Babies had a fair chance. Here is my birthday jam: Doobie Brothers - What a fool believes...............
SPOILER ALERT. If you don't want to know how the novel - A Farewell To Arms, ends - then read no further. I was going through my bookshelf the other day and this page fell from one of the shelves. That's my handwriting on the bottom left. I guess i figured the best place for a grocery list was on the last page of one of the most sickly depressing novels ever. Weird. Anyway, get the Barbecue fired up - it's almost spring time...and I am really depressed...I mean hungry.